Question 1

Chrion: Thou hast undone our mother. Aaron: Villain, I have done thy mother.

Accepted Answer

TITUS ANDRONICUS, Act 4, Scene 2 - In what may be the earliest recorded "Your Mom" joke, Chiron confronts Aaron, his mother's lover, about the affair.  Aaron's response ends the debate (Not really. It's Shakespeare.)

Question 2

Benedick: I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thine eyes.

Accepted Answer

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING, Act 5, Scene 2 - "To die" was an Elizabethan euphemism for that very special feeling.

Question 3

Pistol: Pistol's cock is up, And flashing fire will follow.

Accepted Answer

HENRY V, Act 2, Scene 1 - Okay, okay. The word "cock" didn't come into its current slang meaning until a few decades after Shakespeare's death (also on April 23). So, this is probably not an intentional pun. But come on!

Question 4

Hamlet: Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favors? Guildenstern: Faith, her privates we. Hamlet: In the secret parts of Fortune?

Accepted Answer

Fate - As fate would have it, this middling pun comes from Hamlet, Act 2, scene 2 when Prince Hamlet asks Guildenstern and Rosencrantz how they are doing.

Question 5

Malvolio: By my life, this is my lady's hand these be her very C's, her U's and her T's and thus makes she her great P's.

Accepted Answer

TWELFTH NIGHT - Act 2, Scene 5 - Sometimes, the "dirtyness" of a pun all comes down to how you say a word. Such as in Twelfth Night when Malvolio receives a letter that he thinks is from his boss, Olivia.  Use the casual pronunciation of "and" and... it gets down to the point.

Question 6

Iago: I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.

Accepted Answer

THE TRAGEDY OF OTHELLO, Act 1, Scene 1 - The Beast with Two Backs always wants moor, moor, moor!

Question 7

Pyromas: O kiss me through the hole of this vile wall! Thisbe: I kiss the wall's hole, not your lips at all.

Accepted Answer

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM, Act 5, Scene 1 - Did we mention that the Wall is played by an actor in this play within the play, A Midsummer Night's Dream?

Question 8

Sir Andrew: But it becomes me well enough, does ’t not? Sir Toby Belch Excellent: It hangs like flax on a distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.

Accepted Answer

TWEFTH NIGHT, Act 1, Scene 3 - Okay, this one has a long windup: Sir Andrew asks Sir Belch if he likes his hair.  Belch says it resembles a woman spinning yarn, but it's a double entendre essentially saying that Belch hopes Andrew contracts syphilis, a disease that causes hair loss.

Question 9

Graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

Accepted Answer

VENUS AND ADONIS (a poem) - How low can this go?

Question 10

How many dirty jokes/puns are in the following line? Juliet: O happy dagger! This is thy sheath! There rust and let me die.

Accepted Answer

4 - Happiness is a warm dagger.

Question 11

Malvolio: Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ‘em.

Accepted Answer

TWELFTH NIGHT, Act 2 Scene 5

DIRTY WILLY (Dirty & Risqué Humor in Shakespeare Quiz)

2) Benedick: I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thine eyes.

3) Pistol: Pistol's cock is up, And flashing fire will follow.

4) Hamlet: Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favors? Guildenstern: Faith, her privates we. Hamlet: In the secret parts of Fortune?

5) Malvolio: By my life, this is my lady's hand these be her very C's, her U's and her T's and thus makes she her great P's.

6) Iago: I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.

7) Pyromas: O kiss me through the hole of this vile wall! Thisbe: I kiss the wall's hole, not your lips at all.

8) Sir Andrew: But it becomes me well enough, does ’t not? Sir Toby Belch Excellent: It hangs like flax on a distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.

9) Graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

10) How many dirty jokes/puns are in the following line? Juliet: O happy dagger! This is thy sheath! There rust and let me die.

11) Malvolio: Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ‘em.